Reflect on the questions below. As you do, if you notice you’ve moved into a state of blame, shame, or judgment toward yourself, just acknowledge it and gently return to curiosity and compassion. There are no right or wrong answers. The best answer is the one that comes from your honest felt sense, even if it seems strange or messy. It can be helpful to write the things you are noticing in a journal or a place where you can return to them later.

These questions are not necessarily meant to be answered once and checked off. They are part of the practice itself. They help you to:

• Stay in relationship with the teachings as they unfold over time

• Develop your felt sense and increase your capacity to receive information from your energy body

• Cue you into the things in your inner landscape that are asking for your attention

The Questions

• Where do I notice permeable, flexible, intelligent boundaries in my life, and where do I notice rigid, porous, or missing boundaries?

• What happens in my body when I think about saying a strong yes or a strong no?

• Where do I people-please, avoid conflict, or manage others’ emotions instead of being direct?

• What stories do I carry about anger, and how do those stories affect my ability to listen to to my anger?

• Where do I notice anger arising from the present moment, and what is it telling me about my boundaries?'

• Where do I notice anger arising from the past, and what part of me needs attention there?

• In which spheres of life do I feel most comfortable with my boundaries, and in which do I feel least comfortable?

• Where do I notice myself making choices to remain quiet out of fear rather than simply out of clarity about what is most effective in the context and place?

• How do I use the words “please,” “thank you,” and “I’m sorry” in my life to help me navigate good boundaries, and where could I use them more?

• What arises in me as I endeavor to live with healthy, intelligent boundaries?

As we work with boundaries, it helps to keep tracking the spheres where boundaries feel hardest: with self, family, the world, intimate relationships, sexual relationships, spiritual relationship, and professional relationships.

Questions to ask include:

• Is it easy for me to say strong yeses and nos?

• Am I able to ask for what I need clearly and proactively?

• Do I generally feel safe and protected?

• Do I trust my instincts in these spheres?

• Am I comfortable standing in conflict with others with love?

• Am I comfortable with my anger?

• Do I know when my anger is arising from the past versus the present?